The Last Spark of Thunder
by blue-ember
Summary: Someone reflects on some of his or her feelings that were never known to mankind or demon-kind before they die. I think you can tell that there will be character death and this is shounen-ai believe it or not. And bewared of incest. Pairing: you have to r


Warning: shounen-ai (means boy/boy), incest (means siblings loving each other in a non sibling like way) and character death. Character death is something that happens a lot in the things I write. Any flames complaining about any of the above will be ignored and laughed at. If you don't like it don't read it. I don't have time for idiots, who can't read and think properly.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha, though god knows, how much I want to. Honestly, I would be in heaven if I could just meet the characters.  
  
Pairing: you have to read and find out because I'm not telling. Bewared the pairing is weird and unusual. Might horrify some people.  
  
Summary: Someone reflects on some of his or her feelings that were never known to mankind or demon-kind before they die. I think you can tell that there will be character death and this is shounen-ai believe it or not. And bewared of incest.  
  
Author's Note: This is just an insane idea that popped in to my head when I had nothing to do and won't leave me alone. It's a short one-shot. This is the first time I got up enough courage to publish something, so be nice. I have to thank my friend cookies@midnight for editing this. I'm really really bad at spelling and grammar, so I apologize for it here. If there are any more spelling and grammar errors you can go and kill her. Heh heh. Just joking, don't bother her (she might kill me) and that's no way to thank people for doing things for you. You should tell me and I will fix it.  
  
**The Last Spark of Thunder**  
  
Whoever said that your life flashes past before your eyes just before your death, was right. I do wonder, though briefly, how they found out. Could a dead man speak?  
  
I'm falling slowly and these images of my childhood appear in my mind. I thought I had forgotten those distant times, when father and mother were still alive; all those wasted years. I was so naive to think that everything was perfect and would always stay that way.  
  
I suppose this is a time for me to reflect upon my life, see all that I did wrong and ask for forgiveness. Heh heh. Like that's ever going to happen.  
  
Reflect I shall, but I regret nothing; not all the pain I caused, not the kills I made, not how I lived and especially not how I felt. In fact, I would do it all over again if I could.  
  
I love my life. I love causing pain and spreading terror across the land. It's unbelievably satisfying; the beauty only death can hold when life is purged from the body. The magnificent reflection of death in their eyes as they see the unavoidable future in front of them. Those days of distraction and mass murder, to hear their shill cries of utter terror and lost hope. How beautiful the sound! I am quite glad that I always had another who understood me, by my side to share such joyful and glorious moments. Always having brother by my side.  
  
Brother, the object of my affections and admirations for as long as I can remember. To watch him fight and take life so naturally, it is paradise itself. I wasn't shocked or disgusted when I realized my feelings for the first time. There was no denial or anger, as one might expect. Why would there be? After all, I have admired him for so long. I've always been there watching him, savoring each and every moment that we were together. Sometimes, I just stare at him transfixed, trying my best to memorize every line of his face and body. But to this day I have never succeeded in such a thing. I believe it is an impossible task, because nothing can capture or replicate the perfection that is my brother, not even something as complex as the mind.  
  
Perfection, the perfect word for him, the only word to describe him. It's what he is and what I can never come close to being. I hate what I am, ugly and disgusting. Completely unworthy of being any were near him.  
  
Perhaps, that's why I hate my appearance so much. Perhaps, that's why I want to be beautiful like he is, to be worthy of being by his side. Though he complains not of my countless flaws, I know deep down that he sees them and wishes for me to be gone. I suppose he will get what he wished for today.  
  
If I must regret something, I regret being such a coward as to hide from him my feelings. Can you blame me for doing so? I'm afraid of what might happen if I did tell him. I'm afraid that he might leave me and I shall never have the privilege of watching him again. I'm afraid to lose the source of my happiness and sadness; to lose the reason why I love my life and hate it at the same time. So, I must make myself content by just being near him. Yet, it is tortuous to have him so near but so far, to have him beside me but never able to reach him. I hate the fact that he can never see me as I see him.  
  
Huh? Oh, I finally hit the ground. That fall really took its time. Strange I can have a huge hole though my chest and a sword there just moments ago but feel no pain from it. Why doesn't death bring pain to me like it did to all my pray?  
  
No, that's not entirely true. I feel pain, not the physical pain of death, of which I think I would prefer, but the pain that I'm all too familiar with. The longing for brother and the pain of knowing that it would never be as I wished it. Who would have known emotional pain does over power physical pain? And who would have known that I could hold such powerful emotions.  
  
Damn! Why am I not scared of death as I am scared of leaving brother? Should I even be scared at all? To think, the great Manten, one of the thunder brothers, scared. If my body allowed me, I would have laughed out loud. I should not debate this now, it would just give me a headache. I should go back to the topic before hand. I am scared and that's that.  
  
I remember, though perhaps bitterly, we had promised to be together forever. A promise I will now break in death. I can now accomplish what I cannot in life; set free the one I cared about so much.  
  
His flying over me, my angel. Am I suppose to see angels? I know I would never reach heaven. At best I am to hell. Then why do I see the most majestic angel of them all before me? The angel of death he is, has been and always will be. Maybe death isn't so bad.  
  
A flash of thunder?  
  
He's holding me! It was no angel after all. No, that's not right. He is an angel, the angel that I spent my life with; the angel that I have been blessed with in this life.  
  
He's embracing me, but why? What's this new feeling? A wanting for life? No, I cannot. I cannot imprison him any longer with my presence. He has not complained, but I know I hold him back. I am finally leaving him, doing what I wanted to do for a long time, doing what's best for him. Then why does this suddenly feel so wrong? The fact that he's holding me, the way that I longed for him to hold me, strangely does not make this situation any better. DAMN! Damn it all! I hate contradicting feelings. Why can't everything just be the same, simple and strait!? I want so to keep him to myself and never let go. I don't just act selfish, I am selfish. After all, I killed most of his little whores. I don't deserve him, but they damn well didn't either!  
  
My vision is blurring, but I swear those are tears coming from his marvelous eyes. He's crying? Oh god, he's crying for me. It's a strange sight, heart breaking. But it makes me feel better to know that he's crying for me. Maybe he really cares for me after all, and maybe even in the way I had never dared to hope before now. Even if it is only for a moment, it felt good to have hope and to think that way, though I know that it's not true. As soon as I finish this bothersome dying business he will no doubt rip my heart from my flesh and devour it. Well, it's not so bad. He is only taking what is rightfully his.  
  
Does it take this long for everyone to die, or does it just seem so when it is you who is dying? He's still holding me. I can feel his warmth and his strong arms around me. I should tell him that I love him. I have nothing to lose now. I am going to die and leave him anyway.  
  
Why won't my mouth move? I have no strength left in me but surely I can still say I love you before I go. Then I would be content at least to die with no regrets, and peace to some degree.  
  
Damn, my energy is leaving me so quickly now. My vision is blurring even more, but I can still feel him holding me. I think he's saying something but my ears are in no condition to tell me what. I don't have much time left. I should try again.  
  
Still nothing. Why is this happing? A minute ago I was complaining that I was dying too slowly, and now, when I want to accomplish something first, things pick up their pace. Is this what others call irony? Everything's against me, even the clock. And I just wish I could say it before I go.  
  
The darkness is starting to take me even faster and I have lost the comforting feeling of his arms around me. I feel like I'm floating and disappearing into nothingness. I have to say it. I have to say I love you, Hiten before I let myself be taken by death.  
  
"I..." I can't hold back death any more. No, I need to accomplish this...  
  
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Author's Note: Did the pairing surprise you? Did it? I don't think it has been done before. Cookies tried to kill me for even suggesting it but was still nice enough to read it over anyways. Many more thanks to her and if you could read some of her fics please do, I'm kind of insane, if you're wondering, and things just come in to my mind when I'm walking or lying in bed doing nothing. I don't actually know what made me messed up enough to think up this pairing and I really don't want to know. If you have listened to me this long, then please take a second and review. It would make me very happy and I might consider publishing some of my other fanfics. 


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